Have you ever been in a situation where you say YES to a request and almost immediately, you wish you had said NO? Oh boy! I have countless times. My words in quote “No problem dear“. Why? Because I don’t want the person to see me as being incapable. I don’t want to be seen as a failure.
Sometimes, it’s important to put ourselves first before anyone else because it can get overwhelming and stressful when you keep agreeing to everything and at the same time complaining. If you simply can’t do something, say No!
A Personal Story:
I remember late last year when I had an issue with my father. You do not disobey this man especially with me being the child that follows his rules to the letter. So, I mentioned starting fashion lessons with a former classmate and he bluntly refused first by asking what I wanted to do with fashion. After explaining, he still didn’t agree with my choice and wanted me to enrol in a school (shop) a stone throw from the house. (what?!) Immediately, I said NO. He was shocked and started with his sarcastic comments. Still, I didn’t budge. The next thing I heard were his lashing words. Huh… This went on for like an hour and you know as an African child, you just have to apologize (whether you are at fault or not). After a thorough session of me pleading and with me still not accepting, I left his presence. To my utmost surprise, about 40 minutes later, I got called again only for my father to apologize. *really?* Right now, I can gladly tell you all that I now attend a prestigious fashion school in Ikeja and the good news is that it’s being sponsored by Lagos State.
Why it’s important to say No
You owe nobody nothing!
You shouldn’t feel like it’s your duty to do something for certain people. It’s not a must really.
Saying no to people sometimes earns you some respect and irrespective of what they think at that moment, they would come to the realization that you have a mind of your own and you also have other things to do. However, when you keep saying yes to everything, people take you for granted.
Happiness and Contentment
Your happiness is important and if saying no to that person makes him or her dislike you, so be it! Hence, make sure to consider yourself first.
Be brief about it
When saying no, try not to explain further after giving a cogent reason why you wouldn’t be able to help at that moment.
Stand your ground
My sister does this a lot. After refusing, stand your ground and keep with it. The more you give in to people, the more they will keep coming to ask for more. You cannot please everyone.
Tell them you would think about it
This means taking your time before accepting to do things. While you are still thinking about it, they might end up going to meet another person that would do the job. However, this option is allowed when you wouldn’t regret taking time before accepting the offer.
Do you feel the incessant need to always please everyone? What other ways have you tried in stopping the habit? Do let me know in the comment section loves.
P. S. Don’t forget to like, comment and share.
With Love, Matreekah 🖤